Homecomings...

Thomas Wolfe wrote: "You can't go home again", and in many ways, that is very true. However, I have come home again, and though my parents, grandparents and some siblings are no longer with us, and many of my childhood memories have been altered over time, I am home, once again, in the truest sense.

There is a familiarity in my hometown that I have never found anywhere else I've lived. The faces of people and the landscape of my hometown may have changed, but the general sense of never feeling out of place permeates my being. There is a comfort in knowing that I still have family and friends here, as well.

Soon after moving back home, my brother and I hosted a small reunion that brought together family from the four borders of our country. It was an eclectic blend of personalities and a vast range of ages (preteen to 90) that promised to keep the party fresh and interesting, and it certainly did that. As one cannot know if it may be the last time this particular group will ever come together again, it made the reunion that much sweeter, especially for some of us "older" folk.

As many people know, my brother, Bill, is battling Emphysema (COPD) and cancer, and is now receiving hospice care. This is the main reason I was intent on moving home so quickly. I needed to be here for him. It has been both a wonderful time and a painful time wrapped together, as one can imagine, but a time that, most of all, I am so grateful for. We are making memories together that two siblings aren't often able to experience... memories that I will have long after he is gone.

In the past couple of weeks, my son, Matthew, and my nephew, Michael (Bill's son), have moved back to Superior, too. It's an amazing support group for not only my brother, but for each of us as well. Tonight my nephew and great nephew, Jim and Chris, are flying in for a few days before they go off to the Packer game at Lambeau on Sunday. My brother and I are so blessed to have all of these young men in our lives.

Tomorrow night, we are hoping to have a bonfire in Bill's backyard. My niece, Carolyn, will join us if she can. These bonfires are something my brother really enjoys, so we may have more than one while the boys are all here.

Over the past two plus months that I've been back home, my days have been filled with settling in and meeting with old friends, too. My friends have made this transition so much easier for me. I can never thank them enough for checking up on me, reminding me to laugh often and giving me a sense of belonging. It's rather foreign to get a phone call everyday from one or another of them and I love it! This kind of thing was not what I was use to in all the years I lived in Iowa and apart from my children and grandchildren, I was pretty lonely down there. I can blame no one but myself for that. It was what it was.

If I have one regret, it would be leaving my son, daughter and grandkids behind. That is the one piece of my broken heart that I feel everyday and I hope they can forgive me someday for selfishly thinking only of myself in making this move. Only time will tell if I did the right thing, but for now I keep reminding them how much I love them and that it is a mere 450 miles between us. Not an insurmountable distance that I plan to close as often as I can.

xxxJMBxxx