This seems an appropriate time to add a chapter to my story. I let these things go for too long at times, and forget that I don't have an infinite amount of time on this earth. That is to say that I don't often dwell on death. Truth be told, I have taken a great many steps this past year to hopefully prolong my life for say... another 20 years perhaps? LOL It's in God's hands, I know, but a girl can dream, right?
One year ago to this very day, I quit smoking. It wasn't necessarily by choice for the first 5 days, but because I was in the hospital with no recourse but to abstain. However, once I got the verdict that I had emphysema/COPD and would need to be on oxygen, that pretty much sealed my fate. Oddly enough, I wasn't at all upset about not smoking, maybe because I was preoccupied with the thought of what lay ahead for me with regards to the function of my lungs. I knew I had been struggling for a couple years with my breathing, but chalked it up to simply being overweight.
You cannot imagine my surprise when, a week after getting home from the hospital, as I stepped out of the shower, I realized that I was not gasping for breath for the first time in years and it felt so damn great! I couldn't attribute it to the oxygen that had been delivered by the tankful a few days before, because I really hadn't been using it. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was no longer smoking and this is what it felt like to actually take a deep breath.
It's one year later. All of the oxygen tanks have been returned to the medical equipment company. I am still able to take deep breaths with little effort. I've dropped somewhere between 45 and 50 pounds and there is a treadmill waiting for me at Planet Fitness today. There is much more work to be done on myself, but I can now actually imagine my being here for another 20 years. God willing.
xxxJBDxxx
