The winters of my life...

Every year, the same nostalgic feeling comes over me, pretty much at the same time each year too. The days are shorter; darker and the impending end of... something permeates the air. I watch the grass turn from emerald green to a sickening shade of brownish-gold. The flowers in my garden wilt and clouds make ominous shadows on the walls.

I yearn for a simpler time now; perhaps my childhood, I'm not sure.  I do know that until I was about 9 years old, I had never experienced any painful life events that I can now recall. I had a happy and fortunate childhood, filled with lots of family and friends and happy times. As children, I think we're wired to not let things like the death of a grandparent affect our lives too much. Though I recall the passing of my Gramma Ruth like it was yesterday, I seemed to get passed it rather quickly at that young age.

A year later, my parents sold our family home and we moved into a house just a few blocks down the street. I remember making a huge scene, more than one time, about not wanting to sell our house. It was big and beautiful and it had been the only home I'd ever known. My entire childhood had been centered around that house. It was my comfort zone and to this day, I wish we hadn't left it, but I've also come to realize that it isn't necessarily the places we were that we yearn for, but the people we spent those times with.

So many of those people are gone now... my parents and grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles, and dear friends. It was at this time of year that we often were all together, celebrating around the dining room table with a wonderful meal, or in the living room, talking and laughing and there was so much love surrrounding us all.

I had the good fortune to come into all of the old reel to reel home movies that my grandparents and parents took of those early days in my life.  I think I'll get out that old projector soon and share some of those happy times with my family... my children and grandchildren; those who are here for me to love now.
xxxJBDxxx