It's hard for me to comprehend that I have already had my surgery. I see the difference as my body changes almost daily, but the struggle to get to that surgery seemed insurmountable at the time, yet here I am - living my dream.
In the past month, I have lost a total of 32.5 pounds. Since June 2014, I am over 60 pounds down and yes, it is noticeable to those who see me most everyday. My face is thinning. I have pants that literally fall off my behind. Because of the hernia repair, I no longer have a large baseball-sized lump near my belly button and that, to me, is the most noticeable thing ever. My tummy may still be fat, but it's flat now and I'm loving it!
One of my greatest accomplishments is that I am no longer on any pain medications. One year ago, I was swallowing up to 5000mg of Ibuprofen per day... no that is not a typo... 5000mg. True that I had some cortisone pumped into my shoulder a couple weeks ago, and that definitely has contributed to my wellbeing at present, but what about the pain in my knees and just about every other joint in my body? Nope, it's amazing how weight loss can eliminate pain that way.
A friend of mine contacted me this past week to say they are seriously considering gastric bypass. I know that my way isn't always the right way for everyone, but I strongly urged my friend to get started and see if it was right for her. She's 20 years younger than me and let me tell you, had I known at that age what I know now, I wouldn't have waited another moment to be where I am now in this life changing position.
Yes, it's hard work. In fact, it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done for myself in 60 years. I've had to overcome the head games, which to be honest, are a daily battle. Never mind the detractors that surround us, such as people who do not want to see us succeed. That's hard for sure, but the worst is the dialog that goes on in our own heads. Staying positive is essential to succeeding, yet have any of us ever known anyone who is positive 100% of the time?
I went on a bit of a pity-party earlier this week. We're all entitled to those occasionally, right? At least, that's what I have always told myself. Well, I have another friend who is intent on holding me accountable and simply will not put up with my pity-parties for more than maybe 2 seconds. That friend can't even begin to know how much it means to me that they care that much about me. Pity-parties get us nowhere positive. They simply feed the head games that we need to fight.
I have one aunt and one uncle left in this life and this week, I spoke to each of them. They are both 89 years old and I am forever grateful to have such loving relationships with them. A year ago, I never thought I'd say this, but I would love to live to 89 years old and continue to have loving relationships with all the special people in my life... and EVERY person in my life is special. Like everyone else, I'm not certain how long I have on this earth, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I am going to make every moment of my time count.
Let's make it great!
xxxJBDxxx
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Week 3 - Update
I've finally made it through the 2-week liquid diet that followed my surgery. It went quickly and pretty much was a breeze. My main concern during that time was getting my protein in everyday and getting rid of the gas pocket that lingered in my right side for about a week after I got home from hospital. Strangely enough, that was the only pain I felt. I had 5 main incisions and not a one of them bothered me at all. Counting myself very lucky.
I'm well into my 3rd week since my surgery and there has been great progress in that time. My 20 staples came out on Tuesday and I was told I was a star patient. Sixteen days out from surgery and I am down 25.5 pounds. Yesterday I saw an orthopedic doctor and had two cortisone shots in my left shoulder. For the first time in 15 years, I have no pain there either.
As I sat watching GMA this morning, chewing on my milk-soaked Rice Krispies, it dawned on me that this is what it feels like to truly feel happiness. There is a joy inside of me that I haven't experienced in a long time. A smile covered my face without my even knowing I was doing it for a few moments.
Food is no longer my captor and I really like going to the gym to exercise. I am making plans for my future again... big plans! Why? Because I can!! Everyday is a blessing from God and I plan to make the best of every moment of it. My excitement overwhelms me at times, but after 10 long years of being shutdown, I think I'm entitled to all the excitement I can handle.
I do hope that my blogging about my current experiences following bariatric surgery won't bore you all to bits. I need to do this for me, actually, to keep myself accountable and to leave a record of my journey, as well. And, if one little bit of my journey inspires even one person, that in itself is all I could hope for.
xxxJBDxxx
I'm well into my 3rd week since my surgery and there has been great progress in that time. My 20 staples came out on Tuesday and I was told I was a star patient. Sixteen days out from surgery and I am down 25.5 pounds. Yesterday I saw an orthopedic doctor and had two cortisone shots in my left shoulder. For the first time in 15 years, I have no pain there either.
As I sat watching GMA this morning, chewing on my milk-soaked Rice Krispies, it dawned on me that this is what it feels like to truly feel happiness. There is a joy inside of me that I haven't experienced in a long time. A smile covered my face without my even knowing I was doing it for a few moments.
Food is no longer my captor and I really like going to the gym to exercise. I am making plans for my future again... big plans! Why? Because I can!! Everyday is a blessing from God and I plan to make the best of every moment of it. My excitement overwhelms me at times, but after 10 long years of being shutdown, I think I'm entitled to all the excitement I can handle.
I do hope that my blogging about my current experiences following bariatric surgery won't bore you all to bits. I need to do this for me, actually, to keep myself accountable and to leave a record of my journey, as well. And, if one little bit of my journey inspires even one person, that in itself is all I could hope for.
xxxJBDxxx
Saturday, April 4, 2015
I'm on the Loser's Bench! Week 1 - Update
I've been wanting to write about my progress following gastric bypass surgery. The trouble with that is I am on some pretty strong medications and I find myself falling asleep at the drop of a hat. I'm not complaining, because it's been my experience that, when in pain, sleep it off. No problem. That's what I've been doing.
I would like to say that there is nothing easy about this process, and for the most part, that is true. I am finding in the initial stage, though, that I don't miss food at all. I'm on an all liquid diet for the next two weeks and have come up with some tasty things to fill that need. The thing is, just one or two small bites of Jello and chicken broth, and I'm pretty much good to go. I drink a small serving of a protein shake - three times a day, and those too, are very filling.
The hard part is the residual pain right now. It's mostly due to the air and gas that they pump into you during surgery and getting it out is no easy trick. It's happening though, so I am managing to improve the pain part a little more each day.
My doctor gave me a pretty impressive battle scar, I must say. The bypass itself was accomplished through four small laparoscopic incisions, which are held together with staples and are healing quickly. My fifth incision, however, was created to repair not one, but two umbilical hernias, and it has some interesting twists and turns around my belly button. This scar will merely add to my war stories. I never intended to wear a bikini again... though, I do plan to do some skinny dipping in the future, if the occasion presents itself. (Hey, I'm old, not dead!)
I'm really thankful for the timing on this surgery. The beginning of spring... my very favorite time of the year. It got into the high 70's the other day and I simply sat and listened to the cardinals singing to each other between flitting from tree to tree. I am constantly being reminded of all the simple, little things that are what really makes life wondrous and awesome.
My family has been amazing. My son and daughter stayed at the hospital all through my surgery and have kept real close tabs on me all week. That in itself has been quite the test for them, because on the very day that I had my surgery, their biological dad passed away as well. Talk about *when it rains, it pours*. My daughter, however, decided to put a rather unique spin on that, choosing to see it as something like *When God closes a door, He opens a window.*
My extended family and all of my friends have been awesome in keeping my spirits up. And my team of medical professionals are the best dang bunch around. Every one of them, including my primary doctor's assistant, have walked me through this past year with such amazing care, it truly humbles me. All I can say is thank you all so very much. I cannot wait to get going with my life again and seeing many of you in the future!
xxxJBDxxx
I would like to say that there is nothing easy about this process, and for the most part, that is true. I am finding in the initial stage, though, that I don't miss food at all. I'm on an all liquid diet for the next two weeks and have come up with some tasty things to fill that need. The thing is, just one or two small bites of Jello and chicken broth, and I'm pretty much good to go. I drink a small serving of a protein shake - three times a day, and those too, are very filling.
The hard part is the residual pain right now. It's mostly due to the air and gas that they pump into you during surgery and getting it out is no easy trick. It's happening though, so I am managing to improve the pain part a little more each day.
My doctor gave me a pretty impressive battle scar, I must say. The bypass itself was accomplished through four small laparoscopic incisions, which are held together with staples and are healing quickly. My fifth incision, however, was created to repair not one, but two umbilical hernias, and it has some interesting twists and turns around my belly button. This scar will merely add to my war stories. I never intended to wear a bikini again... though, I do plan to do some skinny dipping in the future, if the occasion presents itself. (Hey, I'm old, not dead!)
I'm really thankful for the timing on this surgery. The beginning of spring... my very favorite time of the year. It got into the high 70's the other day and I simply sat and listened to the cardinals singing to each other between flitting from tree to tree. I am constantly being reminded of all the simple, little things that are what really makes life wondrous and awesome.
My family has been amazing. My son and daughter stayed at the hospital all through my surgery and have kept real close tabs on me all week. That in itself has been quite the test for them, because on the very day that I had my surgery, their biological dad passed away as well. Talk about *when it rains, it pours*. My daughter, however, decided to put a rather unique spin on that, choosing to see it as something like *When God closes a door, He opens a window.*
My extended family and all of my friends have been awesome in keeping my spirits up. And my team of medical professionals are the best dang bunch around. Every one of them, including my primary doctor's assistant, have walked me through this past year with such amazing care, it truly humbles me. All I can say is thank you all so very much. I cannot wait to get going with my life again and seeing many of you in the future!
xxxJBDxxx
Sunday, March 29, 2015
See You on the Other Side!
I have been dealing with a weight problem all of my life. Oh yes, I can hear some of you saying... "Who hasn't?" Right? Well, mine began at birth, weighing in for the first time at a whopping 12 pounds, 3 ounces. I have taken little comfort in the fact that I was NOT the biggest baby born in 1954 in Superior, WI. A childhood friend of mine holds that record. There was a short amount of time during my teens and into my twenties that I held onto a decent figure due to an illness I had in my early teens, but motherhood and a bad marriage had me putting on the pounds again in no time.
Tomorrow, I will take a step that will change my life forever in, God-willing, a very positive way. After 60 years of weight problems, I am hoping to soon be living life with an acceptable BMI and even more positively, as a person who is not dealing with possible diabetes or high blood pressure. It is not an easy path to travel. There may be times when I will question whether I made the right decision. It will definitely be a test of my fortitude and I am ready to face it.
A year and three months ago I was wishing that God would finally call me home, so that I would no longer be such an embarrassment to my family. They are, after all, my main reason for wanting to be here for years to come. My children and grandchildren, my brothers and their children, and my cousins are my everything, and I cannot wait to be in their lives in a more positive way. And all of my dear friends... these people have supported me in such an incredible way, it leaves me dumbfounded at times.
I have put my faith in God and my doctor to see me through this, one way or another. If it goes south, at least I tried to better myself, instead of becoming a burden to those I love. I'm excited about my future again for the first time in ten years! I just wish tomorrow would get here right now, so I could get started making new memories with everyone! I'm so ready to fill my spot on what bariatric patients refer to as the *Losers Bench*, dammit! Patience has never been one of my virtues. :p~~~~~~~
xoxJBDxox
Tomorrow, I will take a step that will change my life forever in, God-willing, a very positive way. After 60 years of weight problems, I am hoping to soon be living life with an acceptable BMI and even more positively, as a person who is not dealing with possible diabetes or high blood pressure. It is not an easy path to travel. There may be times when I will question whether I made the right decision. It will definitely be a test of my fortitude and I am ready to face it.
A year and three months ago I was wishing that God would finally call me home, so that I would no longer be such an embarrassment to my family. They are, after all, my main reason for wanting to be here for years to come. My children and grandchildren, my brothers and their children, and my cousins are my everything, and I cannot wait to be in their lives in a more positive way. And all of my dear friends... these people have supported me in such an incredible way, it leaves me dumbfounded at times.
I have put my faith in God and my doctor to see me through this, one way or another. If it goes south, at least I tried to better myself, instead of becoming a burden to those I love. I'm excited about my future again for the first time in ten years! I just wish tomorrow would get here right now, so I could get started making new memories with everyone! I'm so ready to fill my spot on what bariatric patients refer to as the *Losers Bench*, dammit! Patience has never been one of my virtues. :p~~~~~~~
xoxJBDxox
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Disappointment... or not.
We all suffer disappointments in our lives. I'm not talking about major things like losing a child or parent or spouse, or losing a job or your life savings to a scam or anything major. Just disappointments that can cause us to become depressed or ornery when they happen.
Today I was given a disappointment to deal with because of someone else's mistake. This gal called to tell me that she had scheduled my surgery date wrong, and was literally falling over herself because she felt so awful about it.
A year ago, I might have read her the riot act and spent the next month pissing and moaning about my misfortune. That was a year ago. In the split second following her telling me that my surgery would be pushed back 3 weeks, I made up my mind that there is no sense in crying over my disappointment.
I can be disappointed without making a big deal about it. I can be disappointed without taking it out on that gal that made a mistake. And after all, it was just a mistake.. something we all do from time to time, because we are human and not perfect.
I honestly don't know where all this wisdom suddenly came from. It's completely new to my character, believe me, but I'll take it and run with it, because It feels a whole lot better to smile and get past it, than to wallow in disappointment, like we so often see people do.
Surgery Reset: March 30th - 7:15 AM. I'll be there with bells on!
xxxJBDxxx
Today I was given a disappointment to deal with because of someone else's mistake. This gal called to tell me that she had scheduled my surgery date wrong, and was literally falling over herself because she felt so awful about it.
A year ago, I might have read her the riot act and spent the next month pissing and moaning about my misfortune. That was a year ago. In the split second following her telling me that my surgery would be pushed back 3 weeks, I made up my mind that there is no sense in crying over my disappointment.
I can be disappointed without making a big deal about it. I can be disappointed without taking it out on that gal that made a mistake. And after all, it was just a mistake.. something we all do from time to time, because we are human and not perfect.
I honestly don't know where all this wisdom suddenly came from. It's completely new to my character, believe me, but I'll take it and run with it, because It feels a whole lot better to smile and get past it, than to wallow in disappointment, like we so often see people do.
Surgery Reset: March 30th - 7:15 AM. I'll be there with bells on!
xxxJBDxxx
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
It's up to me
First let me say that if you have a negative opinion regarding weight loss surgery, feel free to close this page now and NOT leave any remark that might injure my delicate sensibilities at this time.
Thank you.
As many of you know, I began a journey this past year to get healthy for, well really, the first time in my life. Hearing a doctor tell you that you are diabetic and have emphysema, along with high blood pressure... it pretty much sucks the wind right out of your sails. I'm not going to mince words here. Some of these maladies were directly attributed to my obesity and I knew I had to step up to the plate (I don't mean the dinner plate) and get myself healthy.
Fast forward one year and here I am... 45 pounds lighter, a non-smoker and most importantly, beginning to live my life again. I kicked what I thought was my worst addiction (smoking) without even a whimper, but I found out that another of my addictions is food.
It's not so simple to kick a food addiction because we all need food in order to survive. Some would say I should just continue to follow the course I've been on, but that is much easier said than done. I cannot lose another 50 or 100 or more pounds on my own. I need a special tool to help me accomplish this goal, as much as anyone needs certain tools to do certain things.
My cardio-vascular doctor, way back in March of 2014, told me I had best consider bariatric surgery if I wanted to save my legs from amputation. I know I looked at him like he was speaking to me in Latin. No way could I afford an elective surgery, and so I shrugged off his suggestion. Imagine my surprise when I next visited my primary doctor and was told that it was quite possible that my insurance would indeed cover the surgery!
A lot of people are under the impression that this kind of surgery is an easy out for fat people. Nothing could be further from the truth. Hell, I haven't even had the surgery yet, and have jumped through so many hoops, it's unbelievable.
Starting next Monday, I will start a 2-week high protein, low carb diet plan... or pretty much what I've been following for the past 7 months. LOL At the end of those 2 weeks, on March 9th, I will be having gastric bypass surgery, otherwise known as Roux-en-Y surgery, coupled with a hernia repair. Ultimately, what this tool does is limit me from eating too much, though if I don't follow my training, I can stretch my pouch and regain the weight. This is a life-changing decision for me and one that I am so looking forward to achieving.
I have spent the past many months learning everything I can about this course of action I'm taking. I have not come to this decision lightly and I am more than aware that my journey will not be easy by any means. That being said, it is the right course for me. I so look forward to being able to walk for more than 10 minutes without my back and legs feeling like they're on fire. I'm so excited to go to my grandkids basketball games, or graduations or even their weddings one day perhaps. I can't wait to go home to Superior to see my brother and uncle and my many friends that are still there, and God willing, I will be at my 45th and 50th class reunions.
It's up to me and yes, I can do this!
xxxJBDxxx
Thank you.
As many of you know, I began a journey this past year to get healthy for, well really, the first time in my life. Hearing a doctor tell you that you are diabetic and have emphysema, along with high blood pressure... it pretty much sucks the wind right out of your sails. I'm not going to mince words here. Some of these maladies were directly attributed to my obesity and I knew I had to step up to the plate (I don't mean the dinner plate) and get myself healthy.
Fast forward one year and here I am... 45 pounds lighter, a non-smoker and most importantly, beginning to live my life again. I kicked what I thought was my worst addiction (smoking) without even a whimper, but I found out that another of my addictions is food.
It's not so simple to kick a food addiction because we all need food in order to survive. Some would say I should just continue to follow the course I've been on, but that is much easier said than done. I cannot lose another 50 or 100 or more pounds on my own. I need a special tool to help me accomplish this goal, as much as anyone needs certain tools to do certain things.
My cardio-vascular doctor, way back in March of 2014, told me I had best consider bariatric surgery if I wanted to save my legs from amputation. I know I looked at him like he was speaking to me in Latin. No way could I afford an elective surgery, and so I shrugged off his suggestion. Imagine my surprise when I next visited my primary doctor and was told that it was quite possible that my insurance would indeed cover the surgery!
A lot of people are under the impression that this kind of surgery is an easy out for fat people. Nothing could be further from the truth. Hell, I haven't even had the surgery yet, and have jumped through so many hoops, it's unbelievable.
Starting next Monday, I will start a 2-week high protein, low carb diet plan... or pretty much what I've been following for the past 7 months. LOL At the end of those 2 weeks, on March 9th, I will be having gastric bypass surgery, otherwise known as Roux-en-Y surgery, coupled with a hernia repair. Ultimately, what this tool does is limit me from eating too much, though if I don't follow my training, I can stretch my pouch and regain the weight. This is a life-changing decision for me and one that I am so looking forward to achieving.
I have spent the past many months learning everything I can about this course of action I'm taking. I have not come to this decision lightly and I am more than aware that my journey will not be easy by any means. That being said, it is the right course for me. I so look forward to being able to walk for more than 10 minutes without my back and legs feeling like they're on fire. I'm so excited to go to my grandkids basketball games, or graduations or even their weddings one day perhaps. I can't wait to go home to Superior to see my brother and uncle and my many friends that are still there, and God willing, I will be at my 45th and 50th class reunions.
It's up to me and yes, I can do this!
xxxJBDxxx
Friday, January 23, 2015
Ramblings of an aging woman... Chapter 4
This seems an appropriate time to add a chapter to my story. I let these things go for too long at times, and forget that I don't have an infinite amount of time on this earth. That is to say that I don't often dwell on death. Truth be told, I have taken a great many steps this past year to hopefully prolong my life for say... another 20 years perhaps? LOL It's in God's hands, I know, but a girl can dream, right?
One year ago to this very day, I quit smoking. It wasn't necessarily by choice for the first 5 days, but because I was in the hospital with no recourse but to abstain. However, once I got the verdict that I had emphysema/COPD and would need to be on oxygen, that pretty much sealed my fate. Oddly enough, I wasn't at all upset about not smoking, maybe because I was preoccupied with the thought of what lay ahead for me with regards to the function of my lungs. I knew I had been struggling for a couple years with my breathing, but chalked it up to simply being overweight.
You cannot imagine my surprise when, a week after getting home from the hospital, as I stepped out of the shower, I realized that I was not gasping for breath for the first time in years and it felt so damn great! I couldn't attribute it to the oxygen that had been delivered by the tankful a few days before, because I really hadn't been using it. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was no longer smoking and this is what it felt like to actually take a deep breath.
It's one year later. All of the oxygen tanks have been returned to the medical equipment company. I am still able to take deep breaths with little effort. I've dropped somewhere between 45 and 50 pounds and there is a treadmill waiting for me at Planet Fitness today. There is much more work to be done on myself, but I can now actually imagine my being here for another 20 years. God willing.
xxxJBDxxx
One year ago to this very day, I quit smoking. It wasn't necessarily by choice for the first 5 days, but because I was in the hospital with no recourse but to abstain. However, once I got the verdict that I had emphysema/COPD and would need to be on oxygen, that pretty much sealed my fate. Oddly enough, I wasn't at all upset about not smoking, maybe because I was preoccupied with the thought of what lay ahead for me with regards to the function of my lungs. I knew I had been struggling for a couple years with my breathing, but chalked it up to simply being overweight.
You cannot imagine my surprise when, a week after getting home from the hospital, as I stepped out of the shower, I realized that I was not gasping for breath for the first time in years and it felt so damn great! I couldn't attribute it to the oxygen that had been delivered by the tankful a few days before, because I really hadn't been using it. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was no longer smoking and this is what it felt like to actually take a deep breath.
It's one year later. All of the oxygen tanks have been returned to the medical equipment company. I am still able to take deep breaths with little effort. I've dropped somewhere between 45 and 50 pounds and there is a treadmill waiting for me at Planet Fitness today. There is much more work to be done on myself, but I can now actually imagine my being here for another 20 years. God willing.
xxxJBDxxx
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